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sleepless weakness

Comments on sleepless weakness

libertygrl
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Posted 03/10/08 - 10:51 AM:
Subject: sleepless weakness
feeling off i shifted wicked
twisted, missed it
spent my faith on trial and error
felt the mirror crack
struggled under the weight of what i lack
what i lack

how do i treat this, beat this,
defeat this sleepless weakness
i don't know what i intended
what we're meant to be
what it takes to know that we'll be free
we'll be free

got lost in a dream for a while
then i remembered your smile,
washing over these aching black lines on my heart
it was a good place to start, oh
it was a good place to start over

how long would it take me to recognize
the truth looking at me through your eyes

when everything is lost
you have everything to gain

am i more than my pain

how do i treat this, beat this,
defeat this sleepless weakness
i don't know what i intended
what we're meant to be
what it takes to know that we'll be free
we'll be free
Nihil Loc
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Posted 03/10/08 - 4:51 PM:

While reading this I started rapping it. You might be able to make a lucrative career out of writing songs, Lib.

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libertygrl
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Posted 03/10/08 - 5:10 PM:

thank you nihil! songwriting is something i've just recently gotten into so i'm looking forward to seeing how it evolves.
Brinni
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Posted 03/10/08 - 8:03 PM:

I agree with Nihil ^_^ It had great rythm and it was beautiful, with the word usage and such. I really like it.
libertygrl
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Posted 03/11/08 - 6:24 PM:

thank you brinni hug
hyena in petticoat
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Posted 03/12/08 - 2:50 AM:

I think you really wrote it as a song. smiling face Otherwise, it's meant to be a song. sticking out tongue

Nice one lib. thumb up
libertygrl
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Posted 03/12/08 - 9:03 AM:

thanks. it was actually inspired by a song that some friends wrote. they/we were talking about possibly changing the song (and words) around to better fit the structure of a traditional song by way of verses and chorus but it never worked out, which i'm kind of glad about because i like the current pattern of it. maybe i will write a song for it someday.

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