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An Excerpt From My Screenplay

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MrMario
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Posted 06/29/07 - 7:45 PM:
Subject: An Excerpt From My Screenplay
(WARNING- THIS DOCUMENT YOU MAY CHOOSE TO READ CONTAINS USES OF THE WORDS SHIT, FUCK, etc. AND USES RACIAL SLURS. IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO IS EASALY OFFENDED BY ANY OF THE ITEMS MENTIONED ABOVE YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ... THEN AGAIN YOU CLICKED ON THIS TOPIC BECAUSE YOU WERE INTERESTED IN IT, SO WHY WOULDENT YOU?)


www.thecouchforum.com/attac...achments/mrmario-scene.pdf


Now That you have read it, please tell me your thoughts. And constructive crtizism. <-- please pardon my bad spelling.

Edited by MrMario on 06/30/07 - 12:01 PM
MrMario
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Posted 07/02/07 - 4:43 AM:

Its either so bad that no one wants to have anything to do with it or its so good that it leaves you speachless.

A:smiling face

B:hmm
libertygrl
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Posted 07/02/07 - 1:58 PM:

i have not had a chance to sit down and read the whole thing through, but i will be back with some comments once i do. patience smiling face
libertygrl
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Posted 07/03/07 - 8:18 PM:

what does "rayos" mean? i've always wondered.

nice work getting the various accents and dialects into print. the next question that comes to mind is, why should the audience be interested in these four guys? where do you plan on taking them?

a person who is watching this scene as part of a movie will be wondering which details of this scene are important, and why. is their misogyny going to turn out to be an important plot point later on, or is it just that you're trying to paint a picture of four down-and-dirty outcasts?

i think you've got a good start here with your character work. i would be curious to see how these various personality traits will become significant later on in the storyline.

lib

MrMario
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Posted 07/04/07 - 1:46 PM:

What does "misogyny" mean? I've always wonderd. (Sorry, I couldent help that.)

It dosent really depend on how you use "rayos". Its more dependant on how one interprets it. To some people, it could mean damn. To others it could mean shit. Depends on the viewer. (in this case reader)

Brown is going to his other job, Sid is going to go home and masturbate (we'll see why later on), and Simon & Trent are going to Spivey for breefings. Trent is going to go make a deal, while Simon is going to meet Rebi. She is my favorite char. I'm having the most fun writing for her.

As for where this is going, you'll see.

Edited by MrMario on 07/04/07 - 1:50 PM
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