The Couch

Solitude

Comments on Solitude

hyena in petticoat
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Posted 05/03/07 - 10:41 PM:
Subject: Solitude
In a boundless room full of people
I walk through in a slow, steady pace
No direction

Oblivious and painfully aware
Of faces and presences

Exploding with emptiness

Reaching out
With a hand as invisible as the people it intends to touch
I stood back and watched
Scanned this boundless room full of people
With self-centered eyes, seeing nothing
But my own shadowed presence

I shouted in angst
With a voice, soft and soundless
And the people in this boundless room
Walk by, unaware

I hope this strength of this crushing feeling
Propel me upward
I want to reach the skies

Wanting to be out of this boundless room
Full of people
Wanting to be out of this crowded room
Where I feel most lonely

“I don’t want to belong!”

I shouted in all hypocrisy.


Edited by hyena in petticoat on 05/03/07 - 10:54 PM
e.
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Posted 05/04/07 - 5:22 AM:

Hyena,

Excellent poem.

Those last two lines went deep, revealing the inner conflict for the outsider who really wants to belong and yet doesn't at the same time?. Ever read Hesse's 'Steppenwolf'?

e.
hyena in petticoat
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Posted 05/04/07 - 5:29 AM:

Thank you e.The comment is very much appreciated since I haven't written any poem since ages ago. And I'm never an expert at such. smiling face

Anyhow, I haven't read Steppenwolf. But I hope to. wink

Paul
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Posted 05/04/07 - 5:55 AM:

I like it.

Personally I don't think I'm being hypocritical when I say I don't want to belong, because I mean I don't want to belong among humans, but would like to belong among a better species I really wish existed. sticking out tongue
libertygrl
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Posted 05/04/07 - 12:33 PM:

beautiful
hyena in petticoat
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Posted 05/04/07 - 11:48 PM:

Thank you lib and Paul. By the way Paul, it was a bit inspired by what you posted in my guestbook there in the PF.

Morgena
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Posted 05/06/07 - 1:24 PM:

A person can feel lonely even being in an overcrowded room where nobody takes a notice of you, that’s the time when you feel to be an invisible person. Perhaps there are some more people here, having experienced something similar.

Good idea for a poem, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with us.


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hyena in petticoat
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Posted 05/06/07 - 7:18 PM:

And thank you for your appreciation, Morgena. smiling face
Rudi
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Posted 05/06/07 - 7:31 PM:

Quite powerful... I guess because in one way or another it describes at least a little bit of everyone of us.

Cheers,

Rudi


Brinni
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#10 - Quote - Permalink
Posted 02/17/08 - 12:44 PM:

That was beautiful.I agree with e., the last two lines did run really deep. I'm so glad I read it nod
hyena in petticoat
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#11 - Quote - Permalink
Posted 02/17/08 - 9:22 PM:

Glad you liked it Brinni. smiling face
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