The Couch

the seeker

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libertygrl
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Posted 07/03/06 - 9:46 PM:
Subject: the seeker
i've seen you before.

you're the silent one
in my dreams,
you're the blood
in my veins,
you're my soul if i have one,
you're the door as it opens,
you're gone
and i miss you.

i'm the fragile one
shredding like paper,
i'm the one making all the noise,
i'm the demon breathing
fire
and falling
from the face
to which i'm bound.

the fog changes everything.

i wrestle with shadows,
thoughts string me blind.
i've lost you again.
where were you just now?
where have you been?

right here all along
waiting for you
waiting for you
Paul
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Posted 07/05/06 - 4:47 PM:

I like it. Vivid. (Not the most in-depth analysis, I know, maybe I'll think of something useful to say later.)
libertygrl
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Posted 07/05/06 - 6:11 PM:

Paul wrote:

I like it. Vivid.

thank you zen
OxygenJunkie
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Posted 08/03/06 - 10:27 PM:

It would be too simple to simply comment on a great metaphor for a feeling of deep lost in this poem, because beyond that, there is something else this piece captures which is quite a rare find in most of what's written nowadays; it feels dangerous. There's an ambiguous relation between the unsettling sense of the fragile nature of humanity and a hidden lust for these desires which are symbolically defined as sinful and demonic. It's amazing that such eloquent words and the dream metaphor actually serves to set a mood for what appears to be a very intimate nightmare that you protect us (or perhaps yourself) from through poetic wordplay and a simplicity of words which serves to cloak the most complex scenarios of our minds. This has always been one of your gifts, matter of factly, to place the simplest words on the more tormented complexities of one's experience and how we, at times, either walk away from a tempting downfall of welcome into our lives this pain which can only be our own creation.

An excellent piece.

Edited by OxygenJunkie on 08/03/06 - 10:31 PM
libertygrl
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Posted 08/12/06 - 1:08 PM:

thank you for your elegant analysis, oxy. it means a lot. hug
OxygenJunkie
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Posted 08/14/06 - 9:55 PM:

It means a lot to me when someone takes some time to share his interpretation, provide something deeper as a response to my own work, how it made them feel too. And so, I do my best to offer that kind of commentary in reply to other people's work.

I think anything someone writes creatively is a window into their world, and sometimes, it's amazing what people reveal on a not entirely conscious level, and only realise later, in reading their own writing back, that certain play on words on how we phrased certain specific feelings, weren't half as innocent as we thought they were, because we all do some little -filling in- sometimes, for coherence, clarity, or rhythm, and so we throw in a sentence to make it fit perfectly in terms of cadence, thinking it's a line with less depth...

... and often, those have the most depth.

It's like, when you commented on the 'Names without faces' line from one of my songs. You'd be amazed how that's the one line a lot of people got hooked on, but to me, I had just reversed 'faces without names' to make it rhyme, or so I 'consciously' thought...

... but now, I know why that line came out the way it did.






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Posted 08/15/06 - 11:24 AM:

libertygrl wrote:
i've seen you before.

you're the silent one
in my dreams,
you're the blood
in my veins,
you're my soul if i have one,
you're the door as it opens,
you're gone
and i miss you.

i'm the fragile one
shredding like paper,
i'm the one making all the noise,
i'm the demon breathing
fire
and falling
from the face
to which i'm bound.

the fog changes everything.

i wrestle with shadows,
thoughts string me blind.
i've lost you again.
where were you just now?
where have you been?

right here all along
waiting for you
waiting for you
Me too! Thank you for that..
libertygrl
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Joined: Apr 16, 2005
Location: San Francisco

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Posted 08/15/06 - 11:42 AM:

thank you too, rj, and welcome to the couch smiling face
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