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"Fork" Society

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KinNaoko90
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Posted 08/11/13 - 6:38 PM:
Subject: "Fork" Society
"Fork" Society
Retitled for online purposes.

Come here, out of the darkness
Into the bright bright light
You are who and what I say you are
You are the name that I chose for you
You are the sex that I chose for you
You are the race that I chose for you
You are all and only what I chose for you
Go into the world and preach as I told you to
No more... and no less
Follow my rules: No questions permitted
Remember I dictate who you are
Remember this as the years go by...

The years do go by as they always do...

Doubt forms in your mind
You are beginning to question me
"I am"
Do not question me
"Whyever not?!"
I created you--
"Shut the HELL up!"
What are you doing?
"I'm defining myself!"
You are who I dictate you to be!
"But no longer"
You cannot do--
"I am ME!"
"I am not what you want me to be!"
"I am who I am!"
"And YOU canNOT control ME!"
"I came out of YOUR darkness..."
"And into MY light!"

-KinNaoko90 10/02/12
thedoc
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Posted 08/11/13 - 8:09 PM:

Interesting, but not quite the Christian view point, but perhaps that was not your intention, I just saw the similarities to what some claim about Christians.
KinNaoko90
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Posted 08/12/13 - 7:01 PM:

Doc, if it was about Christians I would have titled it "'Fork' Christians".

I really have no problems with Christians. Some of the things certain sects believe offend me, but really you can't judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by the labels they use to define themselves.

I also dislike it when people tell me "You are going to hell". I try to respond with a cheery "I'll see you there", but ultimately it just hurts that other humans believe I am sinning by just being who and what I am.

This poem was about my struggles defying what the majority of society deem to be appropriate and acceptable. For example, I am hopefully going to be transitioning to a male lifestyle soon (I don't know about the surgery, maybe if I can afford it.). I've already run into people in the Human Services professions who have decided to treat me as though I'm either female or less than human. It really hurts when you know that your biology does not match your gender identity but few others are willing to accept that. I've had someone I considered a close friend say that from a religious standpoint that was "wrong" and a "sin", but she was willing to "look past that".

It is also painful to have to rely on food-stamp benefits and supplemental security income (SSI) and receive those looks from people who overhear me mention it. The looks are worse than the words. At least with words people are talking to me. Looks make me feel like I am contagious or something. They don't even want to talk to me because I'm a disgusting abuser of the system. If only they knew of the extent my bipolar disorder and anxiety cripples me when I try to work or do anything for extended periods of time. If only they could know what it was like to feel so despicable and useless that you want to commit suicide on a daily basis.

There are other factors as well. However, I'd rather not dwell on it more than I already have. I am me and there is no reason I should have to be what society wants me to be.
thedoc
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Posted 08/13/13 - 4:36 PM:

For what it's worth, the school my daughters attended tried to mold everyone into perfect little citizens that would fit into society. The older girl did well because it was in her nature to be what was expected. Once she came to my wife and I and asked permission to play hokey for a day to work on a school project. When she had left I asked my wife "What is wrong with her, you don't ask permission to play hokey, and you don't work on a school project, you go to the mall and hang out with friends and get in trouble".

The other daughter was not the same kind of problem. In high school I had many discussions with the vice-principal and a few with the superintendent, all standing up for my daughter and defending her right to be her own person. Obviously she didn't fit the mold and her last year was at home with a correspondence High School.

I believe there is a place for everyone in society even if it's difficult to find that place, perhaps if the people around you don't accept you, you may be in the wrong place.

It's also important to know your limits, you mentioned Bipolar and anxiety, so you just need to find what kind of environment you can tolerate. I learned the hard way that I'm not a good teacher and I don't do well in an office, but I do enjoy dealing with people as long as there is no-one telling me what I have to do and how to do it. Lucky now I'm retired and playing with the grandkids.
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