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libertygrl
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Posted 06/26/12 - 1:41 PM:
Subject: Friends
Thinker, I think I remember you having touched on this topic somewhere but I don't remember where. In any case, I came across the following article which talks about the evolution of friendship into modern times where having a friend via Facebook or Twitter has a whole new meaning.

http://chronicle.com/article/Faux-Friendship/49308/

Curious to know what friendship means to you guys. Is friendship important? How would you define friendship, and especially how would you define a true friend?
Thinker13
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Posted 06/26/12 - 1:58 PM:

It was here.

The article was too long to read. Will post my thoughts on 'friend' later.
KinNaoko90
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Posted 06/27/12 - 7:15 AM:

Lib, the article was a little bit long. (I didn't read most of it.) However, going by what the first paragraph said, I'd have to say I disagree with it.

In my opinion, the definition of friendship is not changing at all. We ourselves are simply becoming more open to different friendships. We are what's changing.

To me, this is a good thing. I am able to have more friends than ever before. Without the internet and social networking sites, I never would have met with you guys or all of my gaming friends. No friendship is a false friendship as long as one of it's participants considers it real. In which case it may be a one-way friendship, but still a friendship. I think it's great that I have friends like you and my fellow couchians as well as other friends whom I've never physically met with. Since when was friendship about physical matter meeting with other physical matter? I though friendship was about the positive emotional atmosphere tied to the thought of the other individuals within the relationship.

-Kin heart
Thinker13
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Posted 06/27/12 - 8:39 AM:

KinNaoko90 wrote:
Lib, the article was a little bit long. (I didn't read most of it.) However, going by what the first paragraph said, I'd have to say I disagree with it.

In my opinion, the definition of friendship is not changing at all. We ourselves are simply becoming more open to different friendships. We are what's changing.

To me, this is a good thing. I am able to have more friends than ever before. Without the internet and social networking sites, I never would have met with you guys or all of my gaming friends. No friendship is a false friendship as long as one of it's participants considers it real. In which case it may be a one-way friendship, but still a friendship. I think it's great that I have friends like you and my fellow couchians as well as other friends whom I've never physically met with. Since when was friendship about physical matter meeting with other physical matter? I though friendship was about the positive emotional atmosphere tied to the thought of the other individuals within the relationship.

-Kin heart

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libertygrl
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Posted 06/27/12 - 9:51 AM:

oh, i didn't read the article either, not because it was long but mainly because i don't agree with what the author is saying overall. nonetheless, it inspired the questions which followed.

i agree with you kin about how friendship via the internet is a good thing. i have a lot of internet friends, here at the couch and through social networking sites. i would define one degree of friendship as simple friendliness toward each other. if you've been consistently friendly to me, and we've had some degree of conversation, then i think of you as a friend rather than a stranger or an enemy. if we've had some degree of interaction that was neither friendly nor unfriendly, then i think of you as an acquaintance.

close friendship is a different matter. i often see these aphorisms circulating the net which proclaim that "a true friend always has your back", or "a true friend never lets you down" etc etc. while i think it's great to look out for your friends and to help them out when you can, the attitude conveyed in these statements tends to rub me the wrong way. i think of my close friends as people who know me well, whom i can talk to freely on any subject, with whom i enjoy spending time now and then, someone whom i trust and with whom i feel a certain level of mutual appreciation and respect. i feel confident that a close friend would help me with a problem if they could, but not every problem is something that someone can help you with, and i think it's unfair to see that as a reflection on the friendship itself.

at this point in my life, i find it hard to imagine that i would consider someone i've never met a close friend. i've known a lot of people strictly via internet, some for years now, and i could see myself feeling that they are a good friend, but not a close friend. there is something about knowing a person at the face to face level that you cannot approximate online.
libertygrl
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Posted 06/27/12 - 9:54 AM:

incidentally, i met a guy one time who told me that "a true friend is someone you don't see very often, but when you do, you're always happy to see them, and you always have a good time together." i liked that definition.
thedoc
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Posted 06/27/12 - 12:00 PM:

I like this one,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilV5K8tw_6o

I saw this in early '66 with these two in the cast.
Thinker13
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Posted 06/27/12 - 2:17 PM:

libertygrl wrote:
oh, i didn't read the article either, not because it was long but mainly because i don't agree with what the author is saying overall. nonetheless, it inspired the questions which followed.

i agree with you kin about how friendship via the internet is a good thing. i have a lot of internet friends, here at the couch and through social networking sites. i would define one degree of friendship as simple friendliness toward each other. if you've been consistently friendly to me, and we've had some degree of conversation, then i think of you as a friend rather than a stranger or an enemy. if we've had some degree of interaction that was neither friendly nor unfriendly, then i think of you as an acquaintance.

close friendship is a different matter. i often see these aphorisms circulating the net which proclaim that "a true friend always has your back", or "a true friend never lets you down" etc etc. while i think it's great to look out for your friends and to help them out when you can, the attitude conveyed in these statements tends to rub me the wrong way. i think of my close friends as people who know me well, whom i can talk to freely on any subject, with whom i enjoy spending time now and then, someone whom i trust and with whom i feel a certain level of mutual appreciation and respect. i feel confident that a close friend would help me with a problem if they could, but not every problem is something that someone can help you with, and i think it's unfair to see that as a reflection on the friendship itself.

at this point in my life, i find it hard to imagine that i would consider someone i've never met a close friend. i've known a lot of people strictly via internet, some for years now, and i could see myself feeling that they are a good friend, but not a close friend. there is something about knowing a person at the face to face level that you cannot approximate online.



I feel the same way about most of it except that I don't feel that physical proximity is a very important factor. I feel as if, I am talking to person face to face-- when I discuss with them, or read their thoughts online.

I might say that-- Buddha or Jesus or Gandhi or Gorakshnath or Nolan or Lynch or thedoc ---are my friends if my frequency matches with theirs -most of the time.

I had some romantic notions about friendship as a kid, mostly given by the TV, cinema and story books; but now no more. laughing

Offline: you rarely find good listeners. Here at least you can imagine that they are. laughingsticking out tongue
KinNaoko90
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Posted 06/27/12 - 4:46 PM:

Thinker13 wrote:

Offline: you rarely find good listeners. Here at least you can imagine that they are. laughingsticking out tongue


thumb up

My opinion exactly. I have several close friend of whom I have never physically met with. Most of them are gaming friends who have helped me through hard times even though they had never "met" me either.
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