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Stubborn Streak?

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thedoc
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Posted 01/12/12 - 10:52 AM:
Subject: Stubborn Streak?
How do you deal with stubborn children? My grandaughter turned 2 in Nov. and hasn't started talking yet, she communicates well enough, holding her arms up to be picked up, pointing where she wants to go, and nodding her head or shaking it, but she refuses to speak or make any sound that could resemble a word. A few weeks ago my daughter and grandaughter walked my grandson to the bus-stop, on the way back the grandaughter was carried till the drive went up the hill at which point she was put down to walk the rest of the way. several times she turned and held her arms up to be picked up and carried and each time my daughter asked her to "Say 'up' and I'll pick you up". Each time the grandaughter promptly put her arms down turned and started walking again. Just a few days ago they were coming down stairs and the grandaughter turned, put her arms up and the daughter said "Say 'up' and I'll pick you up" the grandaughter turned, took her mothers hand and started down the steps. It is very clear that the grandaughter knows what we want, and she can make the sounds, she just refuses to put the sounds to what she wants. Part of the problem has been two older brothers who would gladly speak for her, but we finally got them to stop that. So now it is only her stubborn streak that is keeping her from talking, none of this is really surprising, just frustrating, as, in the words of my father, she's about as 'ornery as cat-shit'. Anyone have any ideas on how to get her to start talking? My daughter is trying to 'out stubborn' her but I'm trying to think of a way to make the grandaughter think it's her idea.
henry quirk
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Posted 01/13/12 - 9:56 AM:

'ornery as cat-shit'

HA!

#

"Anyone have any ideas on how to get her to start talking? My daughter is trying to 'out stubborn' her but I'm trying to think of a way to make the grandaughter think it's her idea."

In my experience: 'stubborn' can be a function of 'intelligent' (or, at least, 'crafty'), so, playing tricksy with the girl (your notion) may not be the best route.

Your daughter, I think, is on the right track, that being the honest and obvious war of wills.

Also: an auditory evaluation might be in order...a hearing deficit can delay speech development.
Nihil Loc
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Posted 01/15/12 - 10:50 PM:

I might talk for a donut every now and then.
Soft Wind
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Posted 03/25/12 - 2:13 AM:

hahahahaha

she is most likely a scorpio

they rage like a dragon, but keep friends for life, statisticlly out live every one and are beautiful way in to old age.

my advice ---laugh at her

makes no sense to you cause you make sense.

but watch her change universes when you do it.

AND RENMMBER FOLKS ==

YOU LEARNED IT HERE AT THE COUCH

AND ALSO REMEMBER .........AFTER THOSE LATE NIGHT PARTYS---

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS JOIN ANOTHER FORUM
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap

Edited by Soft Wind on 03/25/12 - 2:23 AM
thedoc
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Posted 03/25/12 - 7:42 AM:

Update on the situation, a few weeks ago my daughter walked the grandson down to the bus stop, with the grandaughter. It had just rained and the grandaughter found some puddles to play in. My daughter told her "don't play in the puddles, if you get your shoes muddy I'm not going to carry you up the hill". The grandaughter ignored her and continued to stomp and stand in the puddles getting muddy and wet. On the way back from the bus-stop they got to the steep part and the grandaughter turned to be picked up and carried and the daughter said "No your shoes are wet and muddy and I said I was not going to carry you", where upon the grandaughter holds up her hand with the index finger pointing up (the ACL sign for 'up') and says "uh" which is close enough to 'up' for a 2 year old. The grandaughter can say the word if she chooses, she hears and understands very well, but she is just being ornrey. It is really pretty funny but we try not to laugh in front of her. The daughter found a series of DVD's on signing (Baby Signing Time) which the grandaughter will watch all the time if I let her, and she is doing the signs, we are hopeing it will lead her to start talking.
JrnymnX
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Posted 03/25/12 - 8:40 AM:

"They'll talk when they want to talk," is the usual advice I've heard for this situation.

My personal take is enjoy the silence.
Thinker13
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Posted 03/25/12 - 10:11 AM:

thedoc wrote:
Update on the situation, a few weeks ago my daughter walked the grandson down to the bus stop, with the grandaughter. It had just rained and the grandaughter found some puddles to play in. My daughter told her "don't play in the puddles, if you get your shoes muddy I'm not going to carry you up the hill". The grandaughter ignored her and continued to stomp and stand in the puddles getting muddy and wet. On the way back from the bus-stop they got to the steep part and the grandaughter turned to be picked up and carried and the daughter said "No your shoes are wet and muddy and I said I was not going to carry you", where upon the grandaughter holds up her hand with the index finger pointing up (the ACL sign for 'up') and says "uh" which is close enough to 'up' for a 2 year old. The grandaughter can say the word if she chooses, she hears and understands very well, but she is just being ornrey. It is really pretty funny but we try not to laugh in front of her. The daughter found a series of DVD's on signing (Baby Signing Time) which the grandaughter will watch all the time if I let her, and she is doing the signs, we are hopeing it will lead her to start talking.



Interesting update doc. Do keep us posted. smiling face
thedoc
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Posted 03/25/12 - 12:30 PM:

JrnymnX wrote:
"They'll talk when they want to talk," is the usual advice I've heard for this situation.

My personal take is enjoy the silence.



I would tend to agree, but I am not the sole caregiver and Mom, Grandma, and others seem to be concerned about it, but since we've started with ASL and she seems to be picking it up there is less concern. Believe me I do enjoy the silence but it is frustrating when she wants something and will not tell us clearly. She has 2 older brothers 10 and 6 and both were chatterboxes for several years and if she follows the pattern I'll be in for a rerun. There has also been some concern that there might be something 'wrong' that she isn't talking but most of the suggestions do not pan out. Her hearing is good, vision is good, she can make the sounds if she wants to, and she is really smart, but she is very stubborn which seems to be the only problem that we can find.
JrnymnX
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Posted 03/26/12 - 8:02 PM:

thedoc wrote:
. . . it is frustrating when she wants something and will not tell us clearly.

Kids at that age are such sponges, especially the smart ones.
While it may be frustrating for the adults to not give her the physical "thing" she wants, she may be getting the "thing" she wants even more. She's learning - a lot. Everything from the subtleties of body language and facial expressions to how to deal with frustration, its all going in the memory banks. And let's not forget the dossier she building on everybody...
thedoc
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Posted 03/26/12 - 8:28 PM:

JrnymnX wrote:

Kids at that age are such sponges, especially the smart ones.
While it may be frustrating for the adults to not give her the physical "thing" she wants, she may be getting the "thing" she wants even more. She's learning - a lot. Everything from the subtleties of body language and facial expressions to how to deal with frustration, its all going in the memory banks. And let's not forget the dossier she building on everybody...



Yes she already knows how to 'push buttons' I can just imagine what it will be like as she gets older. She can get away with a lot because she is so pretty, but that is just my daughter following in her mothers footsteps. A niece of ours once remarked about my wife 'Making the prettiest little babies'. My grandson (the 6 year old) had the prettiest blond curles all around his face for the first year or so and I was constantly correcting people, 'No he's a little boy'.
thedoc
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Posted 03/26/12 - 8:39 PM:

One thing I should add, there may be some idea that she can manipulate the adults but really it can work the other way. If you want something from her that she is not supposed to have and she does not want to give it to you, all you need to do is ask her to take it to someone else. She really seems to like to take things and give them to someone, or to put them away, or to throw something away in the trash. Like anything yopu need to be careful not to over use it. Child psychology does work, and I'm not as wrapped around her little finger as some seem to think, I just let them think I'm a push over. The only problem now is to get her to talk and think it is her idea.

I tend to pick my battles more carefully as I get older.
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