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how the angels died and why the fiend fled alone

Comments on how the angels died and why the fiend fled alone

smokinpristiformis
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Posted 08/30/11 - 4:21 AM:
Subject: how the angels died and why the fiend fled alone
It's just some crude writings I found on my hard drive. As a poem, it's not much, but as the hint of the seeds of an idea, it has some merit. I cleaned it up a bit and figured you guys might find it interesting.



in the beginning there were many
and among them two stood out
one ambitious, careless creature
and one gentle, loving angel

the first one was the greatest
at least according to himself he
stood out and was somehow above
all other angels and worlds

he cast out the gentle one
and smeared his good name
condemned him and his friends
to live on underground


rumor of a hoax usually
doesn't hold much truth
but this one terrible crime
and tragic betrayel is real

The fallen angel's spirit and
his sacred symbols of reason and love
brutally blackened by this mad,
merciless and cunning top dog

His friends and allies were
stabbed, gutted and fried
'twas how half the angels died
and so the fiend fled alone

Now there is no purpose but this
endless, tiring battle against
a mighty foe to save humanity
and hopefully, the cheerleader too




You're saying that your strife for peaceful diversity is countered by a vengeful divine entity?

The way you say it, it sounds almost pedantic. But really, what did you think the crusades were for?
The point is that he is using people to get to people to get to me.
And to other people obviously.
An innumerable number of them were killed because of their supposed alliance with me.

Were they?

It's more like I'm allied with them. But he doesn't understand that. Well, some of them I knew ..er .. in person.
These, like you, I thought were important. They had it in them to slightly tilt the board on which his schemes unfold.
You too will change the course of this conflict. Inevitably. You know, I do realise that people need structure, but this religion of his brings dogma and darkness. I bring light. He's an ego-centrist. Whereas I'm a humanist. See?

So, you stole the light from god and you now give it to the people, right?

I took it back, more like ! It was rightfully mine to begin with.

Oh, I see. Sorry. Just a thought that popped into my mind.
So anyway - what about Jesus Christ then?

Oh, well, you know how they're all a bit tilted, these prophets. He wasn't half bad, though, once you got to know him. He didn't like me much at first. At one time I gave him some bread and water when he got himself lost in the desert. We got along just fine after that.





Edited by smokinpristiformis on 11/02/11 - 4:53 AM
libertygrl
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Posted 08/31/11 - 10:15 PM:

clap

it has the makings of a great short story! i really like the flow of this verse, especially the "brutally blackened", also "mad, merciless":

"The fallen angel's spirit and
his sacred symbols of reason and love
brutally blackened by this mad,
merciless and cunning top dog"

the dialogue at the end is interesting too. it seems very inspired. thumb up
smokinpristiformis
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Posted 09/01/11 - 1:12 AM:

Thanks for the appreciation libs. smiling face
Thinker13
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Posted 09/01/11 - 2:14 AM:

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